Needy is not a Four Letter Word

It’s a five letter word.

Okay, but seriously…I often hear people use the word ‘needy’ in a negative way. Especially when combined with the word ‘too’. I have news for you. There is no such thing as “too needy”.

There is such a thing as “too needy” for a specific person. This does not reflect poorly on you, it simply indicates a potential incompatibility.

You and your needs are important, and we all have varying levels of need. There is nothing wrong with making sure your needs are met.


Atmosphere of Acceptance

For as long as I can remember, people have opened up to me about very personal things, and often far more quickly than I would expect them too. No topic seemed too big or too small to tell me, whether about their anxiety over a job interview, their fear of failing out of school, their crush on the quarterback, or the fact that they were homosexual, into BDSM, or other such “taboo” things about sexuality. I don’t consider myself to be any more trustworthy than the average person, nor do I consider myself to be  a particularly good listener, so for a long time I was unable to figure out why people trusted me with their inner thoughts. Then I had an “aha” moment.

People tell me things because I am safe. Not only do I not get overly involved in others’ personal lives, I also do not judge people for who they are or what they think. That is not how I was raised. Even though I was raised in a very conservative Christian home, we were taught to love others, even if they did things we considered wrong. In our home “love the sinner not the sin” was the mantra. Since then, I have had my doubts about Christianity, as I find it to be more than a bit absurd that a religion that is so new in comparison to others can claim to be the only true way….but I digress.

What this attitude of love taught me was that people are people. They will not always do things we agree with, and they will not always see things as we do. That does not make them less worthy of our acceptance. Every person you meet has the potential to expand your horizons and broaden your world-view. If you project an atmosphere of acceptance, they will share their world with you. If you project an atmosphere of judgment, you limit your own growth.

I challenge you to think of someone you may have turned away due to your own judgments. How could they have expanded your horizons? It easy to say the sky is the limit, but why limit how much of the sky you can see?