Phoenix is a service-oriented submissive. He enjoys meeting my needs and desires. I am, by nature, a do-it-myself-er. I can fix the toilet myself. I can change my oil myself. And for all that’s holy, I can certainly make myself a cup of tea. But that’s not the point. The point is I have a submissive who wants and needs to serve me. So how do you accept someone’s service?
For me, personally, it is not about asking him to serve. It is about providing opportunities for him to serve.
Example: I recently had some corrosion on my car battery (and a dead battery). Yes, I could have cleaned the leads myself. I could have jump started it myself. By advising him of the problem, and then giving him the time to take care of it, I provided him an opportunity to serve me.
In that example, would he have been upset if I did it myself? I doubt it. But over time, if I consistently do it myself, how is his need being met?
As his dominant, I take the lead. But being dominant does not mean it’s all about me. The dominant/submissive relationship is a symbiotic one. Without his submission, I am not his dominant. Without his needs being met, he will not continue to freely give his submission.
Accepting service isn’t about having someone at your beck and call. It’s about providing opportunities for them to show their love and submission in a way that they enjoy.