I have a number of things that irritate me about the community; however, I’m not sure those qualify as kinky/BDSM pet peeves. For what it’s worth I’ll address those irritations.
- Using RACK as an excuse to look the other way regarding safety.
I have recently been to a group that states that they are a RACK group, and that they trust that all involved will be aware of the risks in their activity. While that sounds good on the surface, I observed a number of safety concerns that could be easily remedied. Unsafe equipment was probably the easiest to remedy. The other major concern I had was the repeated welcoming of an individual who had demonstrated predatory behavior, and had a number of complaints against him.
- Using “brattiness” as an excuse for poor behavior
I’ve written a whole rant about this previously, so I won’t bore you all again. Suffice it to say, that being a brat is a kink. It is not welcome when brattiness is imposed on those who do not appreciate it, and using the excuse that: “I’m a brat, I just can’t help myself” – Well, that’s garbage. We are all adults, even brats.
- Demanding that those who use a similar label all act similarly.
I am dominant. I am also little. I recently went to a discussion where the presenter said that being little is a bottom position. Although he was corrected by another group leader, the fact is the stereotype of littles as bottoms is there for a reason. It is the norm. However, we should not impose our definition of a label on anyone but ourselves.