When Monogamy Meets Polyamory

I’ve never been good at monogamy. For one, I love women…and men. I prefer to be in a relationship with a man, but that itch for women starts up, and there are somethings a man just can’t do for me, like have a vagina or gorgeous tits. There are other reasons for me not being monogamous. I have many layers, and I believe it is unfair to expect one single person to be able to meet all of my sexual and D/s needs. I don’t think it’s fair to expect a sub to play Daddy when my little side needs some Daddy-time.

I don’t have to justify why I am poly, I just am. And after several failed attempts at forcing myself to be monogamous, I embraced poly. Every new relationship I consider starts with the knowledge that they are not the only one in my life. If they are the only one for some reason, then I start with the discussion that them being the only one may not be a permanent arrangement.

Yes, being poly has limited my partner pool. And that’s okay.

More recently, however, I began a relationship with a man who was very clearly and adamantly monogamous. I stated that I was not monogamous, and possibly never would be. His response took me off-guard. He said, “That’s ok. I said that I was monogamous. Not that you had to be.”

Up until then, I had not considered a relationship with a monogamous person. Usually the “I’m monogamous” statement was the end of any relationship thought. So, I’m very much still acclimating.

What dating a monogamous partner has taught me is this:
– He won’t try to change me, but sex without his knowledge is still cheating.
– For that matter, scenes without his knowledge is cheating.
– He is completely devoted to me, and I have taken him on as my only submissive. I need to make sure that I am meeting his needs.
– Yes, I can have sex with someone else or be in a relationship with someone else, but rather than think about whether I can, I have to think about whether I should.

These are all new things to think about for someone who is used to having compartmentalized relationships.

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