After attending a party with my Lady, she made a curious comment: “People aren’t used to seeing a good rope bottom.” Frankly, it never occurred to me that the people were even paying attention to me, I figured everyone was paying attention to what she was doing. As with many comments, I started thinking about it, so here is what I can say about it.
I do not know that I am a good rope bottom. That is up to the individual opinion of the rope top, in my mind. But she said it, so I’ll go with it. But there are things that I am conscious of while being tied, and things I do that make it easier for the top. So I will try my best to explain those here.
A quick note on safety for rope bottoms. General trust is not going to suffice when it comes to rope and bondage, in my opinion. Rope bottoms need to research aspects of this type of play just as much as tops. No, bottoms will probably never become as proficient as a good top due to a lack of practice tying people, but knowledge of what is going to happen, the basic techniques, where the rope should and should not be, etc., is the bottom’s best assurance of pleasurable experience.
So, here are some tips from a rope bottom to other rope bottoms to make the experience as good as it can be for both:
First, have patience. A lot of patience, in fact. Done right, binding someone in rope is not a quick process if we are going beyond arms and legs tied to the bed spread-eagle. Whether you are standing, sitting, kneeling or laying down, it takes time for the top to move around you, clear their ends, check their passes and decide their next move. Give them the time with you calm patience. You will be rewarded with a much more comfortable bondage experience.
Second, do not move. Obviously, if your top asks for you to put your arms behind you, do so. What I am referring to is fidgeting, not holding a position, scratching your nose, armpit or ass. Basically, you want to try to eliminate any movement if not directed by your top. Try sitting at home, alone, and concentrate on not moving. You will find it harder than it sounds. You get thirsty, and your drink is right there. The mental thought of “don’t move” seems to make ever odd place on my body itch. Start slow, see how long you can make it without moving, then strive for a longer time the next time.
Third, try not to flex the muscles in the area your top is working on. As a male rope bottom, I can say with certainty that if my Lady is working on my upper body and arms, I could make everything basically futile by flexing my back muscles. Rope bondage relies on tension, so if I were to flex while you are making passes around my back, when I relax they fall into a puddle around my waist.
Fourth, pay attention. Your top will be clearing their ends. It keeps them able to continue binding you instead of dealing with a rats nest of twisted, knotted rope. This is a great opportunity for you to enjoy the sensations. Rope bondage is not all about the final position, but the journey of getting there. The feel of the rope dragging across your skin can be quite enticing and intoxicating. Enjoy it.
Fifth, relax. I fully realize this is more difficult as the intricacies increase, or the positions become more strenuous. However, the more relaxed you can be during the process, the easier it will be to remain in the positions your top asks of your body. Tight, tensed muscles will not generally relax once bound in place. Generally, muscles in this state will simply start to cramp, on occasion severely. Relaxed muscles, on the other hand, allow your joints to move freely, and are much less prone to premature cramping.
There is a start. There is much more to be said, but I will take the time to reiterate my early thoughts on safety. Know the rope top you are submitting to, the style of bondage he or she uses, and have a basic knowledge of that style. I love being bound in rope. I wish everyone could feel the way I do when I cannot move. More importantly, though, is that everyone does everything they can to remain safe.